I am currently working in a law-related field; my responsibility is to be aware of issues related to wrong-doing, corruption and ethical misconducts. Thus, it has become part of my nature to love fairness and justice. However, I have discovered that my co-workers themselves are also committing corruption and ethical misconducts like bribery and adultery. Also, I have found that there are many conspiring together and even the high level executives are involved. I am just a small player in the company and I feel so uncomfortable that I wanted to write a letter to send to the board of the directors, but I didn't do it because I was afraid that people would get in trouble. Right now I'm just letting them continue but every time I see their faces I feel so terrible and angry. I want to resign from my job but I think that myself or the company didn't do anything wrong. What should I do?
	Sister Pine (Tung Nghiêm)

        Dear friend,

        Thank you for sharing your deep question with us. This sounds like a painful situation – but also, a great opportunity for transformation and healing in yourself as well as in your environment.

        When we feel a big pain in our heart, when we feel a storm of emotion blowing around inside of us, the first thing we need to do is to stop and come back to take care of our true home, the home in our own heart. Our own breathing is always going on, always there for us, and we can take refuge in it at any time. We don’t try to suppress our feelings; we just turn our attention to the gentle flow of air, coming into our body to nourish us with oxygen, and going out of our body to carry away what we don’t need. We can say to ourselves,
        Breathing in, I’m aware that right now I am breathing in.
        Breathing out, I know that this is my out-breath happening now.

        This simplest of actions, bringing our mind back to our body and becoming aware of our breath moving in and out, is an amazingly effective balm that allows our mind to begin to relax a little bit. If our emotions and our habit of running away from ourselves are too strong, we can use a recording of guided meditation or relaxing music to help us come back to ourselves. Some people find it helpful to practice mindful breathing while walking outside in nature, or walking slowly indoors. With each in-breath we may take one, two or three steps and say silently to ourselves, "In; in; in" and with each out-breath, "out; out; out."

        The basic practice of mindful breathing is one that we can do every day, many times a day, to nourish ourselves; we shouldn’t wait and then only try to do it in times of crisis. The more we nourish ourselves in our everyday life, the easier it is to take refuge when the storm comes up. We can set aside some time in the morning and evening, to begin and end our day with the pleasure of mindful breathing; and we also can do it any time during the day – like when we hear the telephone ringing, when we see a red light while driving, when we sit down to eat our meals, and so on. We can never have too much of this joy in breathing!

        After some minutes of enjoying the nourishing action of following our own breathing in and out, we can expand our attention to the rest of our body.
        Breathing in, I am aware of some tensions or pain in my body.
         Breathing out, I relax and release all the tensions in my body.

When our body feels relaxed, we can turn our attention to acknowledging the pain we feel in our heart, breathing with it and embracing it with all our love and compassion. You have taken this job because you care deeply about fairness, because you see and feel the suffering that results when we abuse the trust of others by stealing, lying, and committing other wrong actions. It can be painful to see your own colleagues seeming to get ahead in life by acting in dishonest ways that hurt others. It’s very important to be there for your own pain and anger. These feelings inside you are like a hurt baby, crying for her mother. You are the baby; but you are also the mother, tenderly cradling her child with love. Just this action can bring us a lot of relief.         We may need to do these first few practices only – following the breath, relaxing the body, and embracing our emotions – for some days or weeks before we have enough solidity and space inside to contemplate the situations we feel upset about, without being carried away by our emotions.         When we are solid enough, we can practice contemplating one person we have been upset with. We practice looking deeply into the person. Why would he do a thing like that? Maybe his parents were not able to show him that using dishonest means to get what he thinks he wants, will only bring suffering to himself as well as to others in the long run. Perhaps he started out as a child with beautiful aspirations and hopes, but has been surrounded by an environment that convinced him everyone is dishonest and he might as well get what he can for himself, too. Every one of us has the seeds of wisdom, kindness, and compassion, and also the seeds of delusion, anger, and craving in us. What manifests in our life depends on which seeds are watered more than others. Maybe we ourselves would act the same way our "enemies" do, if we had the same conditions in our life.

        When we look deeply, we soon see that a person who is causing suffering to others is, herself, suffering inside and doesn’t know how to handle it. She may have been taught to suppress all her feelings and become like a robot, and very likely doesn’t even realize how much she, herself, suffers because of her actions. Probably for a long time already no one has been able to water the seeds of understanding and compassion in her. When we can see this, compassion springs up in us quite naturally and right away we suffer much less. We feel motivated to find ways to help the other person, help ourself, and help the company to get out of this tangled web of suffering in which all are caught and suffering.

        When many people in a group – whether it’s a family, a company, or even a government – are engaged in similar kinds of unethical behavior, it can seem overwhelming, an impossible challenge to try to bring about change. Yet if we look at history, we can find many examples of revolutionary change for the good. The great anthropologist Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." So, once we have learned to take care of our body and mind through the practice of mindful breathing and walking, the next thing we can do is to remind ourselves that all things are impermanent, and change is always possible. We need to be conscious about what we choose to put in our minds. Instead of consuming many depressing TV programs and newspaper articles that water the seed of despair in us, we can watch a film or read a book about someone who overcame tremendous obstacles to end oppression and relieve suffering. Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and many more unsung heroes in everyday life can remind us of what is possible when we have a strong moral and spiritual foundation, courage and determination.

The next thing we can do is identify one, two or three people in our group who might feel the same way we do, people who have wholesome values and might like to help make a positive change in the situation, but haven’t known what they can do. Having a couple of friends with whom we can share our hopes, our struggles and our joys can be a huge support that will make all the difference. You might like to start out by just inviting them to eat lunch with you in a pleasant spot once every week or so, get to know each other better, and gradually start to talk about the situation in your company.         To bring about big change, we need to have lots of patience and perseverance. The conditions that have come together to create the current situation in your company probably were many in number, and many years in the making. There are some situations in life where we can identify a single trigger point to press on and change everything very quickly; but many times, people need time to transform. Don’t give up! As long as we are continuing to take good care of our own body and mind, nourishing ourselves with joy and beauty as much as possible, we can have the serenity to accept that others are where they are, and we can patiently help them take baby steps in a new direction. If we come on too strong and try to push for more change than people are ready for, we may cause a hostile reaction and actually make things even worse than before. We need to use skilful means, looking deeply into each person and skillfully watering his or her good seeds. People act badly because the seeds of suffering have been watered in them; now you will be the one to water their seeds of goodness and beauty.

        For example, let’s say someone is stealing money. Because of your own pain at seeing this, you may have been looking at that person with eyes of judgment and anger. Now, as a result of your practicing self-care and looking deeply, you can change that dynamic. Your body language probably has softened some already without your even realizing it; and now you can start to smile a genuine smile of compassion and understanding to her. She will notice the difference right away, and despite her own defenses, after a while, she may start to trust you enough to smile back to you. You can compliment her when she wears a tasteful outfit, and slowly start to talk with her a little bit more, inquiring about her children and sharing some things about your own family.

        Then, whenever you see her doing something that shows even a little bit of discipline and integrity, you can praise her for it. It can be something very small. For example: "We had that delicious cake in the lunchroom today for Somporn’s birthday, and I saw how you took a smaller piece so the person after you could have the bigger one. I was really touched by your selflessness." You also can share skillfully about actual situations that come up in your own daily life, such as: "You know something, this morning on the subway I found a wallet that someone had dropped between the seats. I saw there was a lot of money in there. First I thought, ‘Well, they probably don’t expect to see that ever again, I could buy myself something nice with this, most people would do the same.’ But then I imagined myself in the other person’s position, so sorrowful, and I realized that actually I wouldn’t feel all that good about just taking the money and spending it on myself. I also remembered some of the ways I’ve seen you show care for others, and how it always seems to bring happiness to you as well as to them. [You can give her an example here] --So, I handed that wallet in to the security officer. It feels pretty good. Thanks for being an inspiration to me!" Using funny stories, or stories from our children’s lives, or asking for that person’s advice about something happening in your life are also good ways to water positive seeds.

        If, in spite of your practice, you find that the culture of unethical behavior in the company is simply more than you can bear, and your suffering is really too great, it’s also OK to make a decision out of kindness to yourself to find another job. If, however, you are able to keep your bodhicitta strong, transforming your suffering day by day into understanding and compassion and transforming your workplace, you will help not only yourself, your company and your co-workers, but also your and their loved ones: spouses, children, parents, friends, and neighbors. You might be surprised at what you – yes, you – can do, when you practice faithfully. It will be a great victory of love over fear.

        And please remember, the Sangha is always there to support you. We wish you steadiness, peace, and joy on your bodhisattva way! ...๐

Sister Pine (Tung Nghiem), an American, lives with her beloved abbess Niramisa at the Loving Kindness Temple in Plum Village. Before becoming a nun in 2003, she practiced as an attorney in Washington DC. She feels she is the luckiest person in the world to be able to practice and live in Plum Village, enjoying the beautiful French countryside, and also traveling with Thay and Niramisa to other paradise places such as Thailand.